I'm taking a break from social media this week, and I didn't even post about it. Yet here I am, posting about it on my yoga blog. Why does taking a break from social media feel like a big deal? Why is it that if we go to unplug, we feel the need to explain it, almost leaving an away message of sorts in our status bar? And then how does it makes sense to tout our minimalistic behavior, only to then go BACK on social media and talk about how good it feels to take a break from social media?
I don't have the answers to these questions. But I will let you in on something about me: I am an anxious person. I've been this way for as long as I can remember, so I have gotten quite used to living an anxious life. You probably had no idea. That's my anxiety, managing my behavior so you can't even tell that I am anxious about 99% of the time. Or perhaps I'm not fooling anybody and it's painfully obvious. :) Yet as much as I know this, I consistently forget that the smartphone and it's quick access to a glossy-eyed, brainless daze has done little to assuage my anxious tendencies.
I talk in my yoga classes about screen time and putting the phone in another room when you sleep (especially with my prenatal students: the worst phone insomniacs out there), yet sometimes I can find myself inside of FB or IG on a regular basis. I realize it like waking up from a dream, asking myself, "How long have I been looking at this? Why am I looking at this? How did I start LOOKING AT THIS?"
<insert adorable cat meme>
Somehow I can slip between being unaffected by the little blue button on my home screen to pressing it habitually when I'm seeking validation, distraction, a break, or even just an LOL. Can you relate? Often I don't even realize that I pressed it until I'm lamenting aloud about my brother supporting Trump. I do try to limit screen use to between the hours of 9am and 9pm. Kinda.
I'm in my mid-thirties, so I distance myself from the "millennial" category. I recall a time when we didn't have mobile phones, let alone Facebook and Snap, pulling us out of our real world and into a fabricated one. (For the record: I don't use Snap, I can't figure it out. But I DID successfully explain hashtags to my mom yesterday.) People tease me for being painfully analog with my paper calendar and my penchant for burning CDs. Yes, okay, I still long for a time when we made plans well in advance and kept them, so as not to leave a friend sitting alone in public without anything to stare at. I remember falling in love and needing to climb to a rooftop and shout it, rather than simply and anticlimactically changing my relationship status on FB. (So many likes!) I remember a time that we had to be real with the people in our lives and neighborhoods rather than hiding behind perfectly filtered pics, profiles, and the never-ending and indisputable "busy".
Within 48 hours of deleting the IG, FB, and Messenger apps from my phone, I received an email from Instagram reminding me to check my account for my 3 new followers. Well played, IG. I almost clicked. But I like reminding myself that I have better things to do than scroll and click around in a fantastical reality. And I really, truly do have so many better things to do.
Like any other over-saturated and addictive vice, we have to treat our phones and our social media circles with limits and with moderation. Like any kind of discipline, it takes practice and effort over time. If we aren't careful, we can slip into unhealthy behaviors like scrolling when we should be sleeping, or driving, or even worse, when we should be connecting with a person right in front of us.
I don't need a medal for taking a screen break. What I think I do need is a reminder that the world is not at our fingertips. I think I need a world where I can be comfortable in public without holding a phone or a drink. I realize this is completely on me. I have to look up, feel my awkwardness, interact, be brave, connect, and show up. As anxious as it makes me, I'm gonna try.
At any rate, I'll see if any of you liked this sometime next week.
